Ashes
by Miss Pavalova
Summary: NaLu Week, Day Two: Vulnerable; She found it difficult to see them fighting at their strongest when she felt as if she were on the edge of her rope.


Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail in any way, shape, or form.

Second day, second story. Even though, techincally speaking, I'm posting this at 12:06 am on July 3rd. Oh well, those are just simple technicalities, right? I don't know if I was excessive in showing Future Lucy's weakness, or vulnerabilities, here. This was far harder to write than yesterday's prompt. I think I was possibly trying to overachieve with this story... Let bygones be bygones. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!

Also, I probably should've mentioned this in yesterday's AN. I'll be posting each story for NaLu week separately. As much as it may be neater to have it all bundled up in a single story, I find that it's more convenient when trying to find oneshots to leave it as just the individual story.

Lyric used in the beginning is from _Pompeii_, by _Bastille_.

Hope you enjoy!

Day Two: Vulnerable

* * *

**Ashes**

"… _if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?"_

She found it difficult. It was so incredibly difficult to see them, her beloved family, fighting at their strongest when she felt as if she were on the edge of her rope.

The stump that was the remnant of her right arm throbbed with the slightest of pains. She grimaced, but didn't let her eyes drift from the scene unfolding before her – Fairy Tail's glorious resurrection. After seven years of being degraded, it was finally time for the guild's golden turnabout, and one of the primary harbingers had been her wonderfully crazy Dragon Slayer.

The Lacrima-Vision made him appear wide before the arena's crowd, letting them all witness the cocky pride that he let himself stand on. Sting and Rogue had just shown him their abilities as Third Generation Dragon Slayers, but he and Gajeel had given it as much care as they would a fly on their shoulder. Giving them his best taunt, the enigmatic, mature side of him was open to view for the shortest of moments, and only those perceptive enough to see it there would've believed he was capable of showing such expression. Natsu and maturity within the same statement felt paradoxical, yet was an undeniable truth that she only managed to discover when her own world burned to ashes.

_Smoke and dust filled the air of the battlefield, marred with the stench of blood and destruction. She hated doing reconnaissance, but considering the lack of numbers they held, everyone had their own part to do, and she had already done her duty as healer in the previous shift. She braved the front, tugging the white, dragon-scaled scarf tighter around her nose to block the ashes. She tried not to think about the Dragon Slayer's state back at the base camp, as she left him in Levy's care, his body weakened from an unexpected attack from the dragons. She tried not to remember his torso, stained from a wound that didn't stop bleeding. She tried not to remember his guttural cry, and his attempts at making her run so that she wouldn't get hurt. She tried not to remember that he was injured protecting _her.

She felt a tear running down her cheek, and hated the fact that the grin she loved so much, the one that graced the Lacrima screens, was the same grin he gave when he told her to leave him for dead.

**..O..**

After her talk with Jellal, it was oddly comforting to relish in the feeling of communicating with someone in what felt like a gruelling eternity. The man was shocked, to say the least. Who wouldn't be in seeing the future version of a girl that in the present was with her fellow guild mates? But he was considerate about the whole affair, and appeared to heed her message of warning, albeit with caution. A man such as him wouldn't be quick to trust, even if she retained the same face.

She looked back down on her journal, where she kept notes of anything and everything that might've proven useful to give to the Fairies in trying to stop her future from occurring. But along the way, it had become some semblance of a diary – a means for her to remember the ones she had left behind and the ones she had lost. With her left hand, she clumsily leafed through the pages, heart clenching as she found the page she had been seeking.

_June 30th – Jellal Fernandes, Erza Scarlet_

No other words remained on the page. She didn't want to remind herself of the events that had lost the both of them on that day, even though they blaringly replayed in her mind. A few teardrops fell onto the pages, as she rifled further in the book and found the last dated page.

_July 7th –Juvia Lockser, Levy McGarden, Natsu Dragneel_

Her eyes glanced at it briefly, stomach churning in nausea from the final name written. She stifled back her sobs, choosing to find a spare page to write more notes on the Eclipse Project and Dragon King Festival. Distractions. Distractions would let her forget. If she dwelled on her past, then she would be unable to help them for the future.

"Hey! This is a 'no trespassing area'!" a voice to her left called out. She glanced to see a stranger watching her disapprovingly for breaking the rule. Her heart rate quickened – the man might take her to the royal guard, and she would be unable to help if she was captured. Dropping all her items, she made a mad dash for her right, knowing of the sewer tunnels that could lead her to another safe spot.

It was only once she found herself safe within the backstreets of Crocus that she noticed her journal had slipped from her hand. Leaning against a stone wall, she let silent tears fall again, wondering how much she has to lose before fate can be happy. She cried herself to sleep, just like the nights before.

**..O..**

The Natsu that stared at her with confusion and curiosity looked young – innocent. This Natsu had not faced the countless deaths of their comrades. He hadn't faced war. And without a doubt, Lucy would do her best to prevent him from ever seeing it.

But seeing him always evoked emotions that she tried to suppress, because seeing him was like seeing _her_ Natsu - the Natsu that had seen death and war, but still smiled all through it all the same, if only for the sake of keeping their spirits up; the Natsu that had led their rapidly decreasing group as comrades fell down like toy soldiers; the Natsu that had fended off the dragons to his dying breath in order for her to turn back the time.

He asked her to take off the hood, and the sensible part of her told her not to listen. She should help them, but from the shadows. Revealing to Jellal was more than enough. Revealing to Natsu, particularly when the present Lucy was right there as well, brought dangers that she didn't know the consequences of. But he just stared at her, that typical determined look of his piercing right through her, and she tried to keep her emotions in check as she followed what he asked. The lonely, vulnerable part of her just wanted him to see her again. She missed him far too much.

And the look on his face made her equally delighted yet terrified. The dam within her burst, and out poured her insecurities and fears as she wept. The entire time, his eyes were trained on her face, trying to believe her image, and she felt as if she were offering out her feebly beating heart for wolves to hound on. She hadn't seen him in so long, but yet there he was, so close to her yet the farthest he's ever been.

She didn't want to see him, but every nerve in her body wanted to reach out and be close to him.

_Their battlefield was chaos. They were merely a day's trek away from the location of the Eclipse Gate, and they were all undoubtedly nervous. She could feel them every so often, the glances that her nakama would give. They were concerned for her wellbeing. As the days came closer to the Eclipse's date, she had become antsy, the weight of her duty impeding her mind and focus. She hated herself for it, since it just left Natsu with more reason to protect her, and she was already afraid that his boundless concern for her would get him killed._

_They hadn't expected the dragon attack. The earth shook from underneath them and before Natsu could prevent it, Lucy had been snatched by the dragon's talons. Before he could launch an attack, her body was tossed to the blood-encrusted ground like a rag doll. Before he could even blink, her right arm was being ripped from her body like a broken toy. She could barely feel the shriek that ripped from her throat, her body solely reacting to the wound that afflicted her right side. Her impact on the ground only doubled the pain. _

_As she lay on the ground, trapped in a haze of blinding agony, the first thought that crossed her mind wasn't of her death, but of whether her friends had made an escape. There was no hope left for her, the broken state she was in. And she began to cry as darkness crept from the corners of her eyes, because she had failed them all. A measly fault in defences and her awareness had left the future that they wanted to salvage ruined._

_Before the shadows fogged her mind, the pain in her arm lessened. With excruciating slowness, her head tilted to see a battered Levy summoning meagre supplies with her magic, doing her best to heal the remnants of the ligament that held her arm. From behind her, she could see Natsu and Juvia, turned to face the dragon in combat. Natsu turned back to look at her mangled state and the infuriated yet resolute expression on his face let feelings of relief and hate blossom through her. Why did he always have to save her? Why couldn't he just abandon her? _

_And why did her love for the man that endlessly rescued her trump any feeling of hate she wanted to hold for him for simply _being _there?_

Voice cracking from the sobs that threatened to control her, she spoke. "Sorry… Lend me… your strength."

**..O..**

The unwavering belief that Natsu held in his comrades, no matter which Natsu she spoke of, always astounded her. In the final days of her world, of the future, that belief was what kept them all going. His belief was what kept her from giving up all semblance of hope in herself.

It was silly of her really, to somehow doubt that same faith of his. No matter the challenge, he, and all of Fairy Tail, would do their best to weather the storm. It was nostalgic, seeing them all believe her tale of tragedy. Natsu's reaction to her foreshadowing of the ten thousand dragon storm was whimsical, and so typically him. The joviality of their actions surprised her, and only made her realise the direness of their situation further.

At telling them her lack of strategy, her desire to flee them had been immense. How useless was she? To come from the future bearing news yet no help in the slightest; she wanted to cry once more at her feeble state. The sacrifices of her friends, of Natsu, had been made worthless due to her ill preparedness.

But the present Natsu eased her fears, as her Natsu would've done. Rather than blame her, he thanked her for all her hard work, and yet again the tears threatened to break her. The same unyielding faith he held in her held strong throughout timelines. No matter which Natsu it was, it appeared she was bound to fall in love with him again and again.

"_Natsu," she began, turning her head to face him as he waited by her bedside. Her right side had stopped, dulled to a low throb that she could ignore easily, when she put her mind to it. Her countless 'thank you's' to Levy couldn't compare to the gratitude she felt, but her best friend appeared to understand before she left to tend Juvia. Natsu turned, an expression that was previously severe transformed into something kind. "Do you think I can do it? Do you think I can save our future?"_

_It was a question that kept cropping up as they drew closer to the Eclipse Gate. Her insecurities about holding the responsibility of all their efforts were continuous, and how Natsu kept his sanity near her presence should've been commended. The Dragon Slayer just smiled reassuringly, threading his hand through her scattered tresses to assuage her fears._

"_You're Lucy. No matter what happens to us, I have all the faith in the universe that you'll be able to do it," he tells her brightly, and she manages a smile, because his happy moods had always been infectious. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, the action calming her enough so that she could close her eyes. "It'll be okay in the end. Lucy, I know you can save our future."_

And in the present day, she believed his words.

**..O..**

Even though there was no guarantee about what the future would bring, there was a gratifying feeling that blossomed within her as she sacrificed herself for her present counterpart. Their shocked faces, mimicking her comrades the day her arm was taken from her, all blurred as she fell to the ground from Rogue's attack.

"I never… closed… the door," she breathed out, words hindered through the blood that clotted her lungs and mouth. Her vision was becoming hazy, and her pain was reminiscent of losing her limb, yet she knew that moment was final. Present Lucy tried to assure her, in a similar way that Natsu always tried to do. The feeling was odd, to die in front of her mirror image. Her sensibilities had told her to be cautious, to not endanger the changes of her past nakama by appearing in front of them. But, with her fears washing away, she felt comforted in the fact that she could see them all once more when there was happiness in their lives.

From the corner of her slowly depleting eyesight, she could see Natsu watching every move, and wondered whether her Natsu was waiting for her, wherever he was.

_They had reached the Eclipse Gate, with the moon and sun above them joining in chaotic harmony. Juvia and Levy had stayed back to protect she and Natsu from the dragon forces that threatened. Sobs wracked her body as Natsu grabbed her hand and propelled them forwards, and she turned away before she could see her two friends overpowered by the immense strength of the beasts._

"_Lucy! Do you have your keys?" Natsu asked her as they approached the gate rapidly. She nodded, loosening Natsu's grip on her arm to brandish the twelve golden keys. She tried not to focus on the crimson stains and dull shimmer that decorated the keys, eyes trained on the harrowing gate that greeted her vision. From behind them, gargantuan steps rocked the floor, threatening to tear down the remaining structure of the ruined castle. A deafening roar shook them, and she turned back to see the dragons thundering forward, hunters chasing their prey. _

_They reached the foot of the gate. Before Lucy could tell him to run, Natsu had moved forward and pressed his lips against hers. She could feel wetness meeting her cheeks, and saw that her strong Dragon Slayer was shedding silent tears. Knowing it would be their last moment, she closed her eyes and returned the favour, lips pressing firmly against his – a parting kiss shrouded in the mayhem of their bleak world._

"_Save our future, Lucy."_

_She reached out for him as the gates behind her opened, before the vortex of time swallowed her. His face turned back, and he gave a grin reminiscent of the one from when he promised to take her to Fairy Tail, showing her his vast and beautiful world in doing so._

Her pink guild mark swam through her vision, letting her be overcome in bittersweet nostalgia as more darkness wrought her sight. To see her beginning in her final moments – fate appeared cruel yet merciful.

"Protect… the future…"

**..O..**

Being the final hope in salvaging the ruined future made her broken. Physically and emotionally, she was pushed past the extent of her capabilities. Weakened, she was exposed to whatever games fate desired to throw upon her. In the midst of a brilliant golden haze, she faced an endless, ethereal plain. A familiar, warm hand captured hers and whisked her away to where her loved ones stood, and the vulnerability that threatened to destroy her was abandoned. Her joyful laughter mingled with his cheerful ones, and she followed her protector to whatever adventure lay waiting.


End file.
